"You make a living by what you get, you make a life by what you give"

~ Sir Winston Churchill
A little more than four years ago I was pregnant with my first child. Pregnancy is such a happy time of joy, hope, anticipation, and the wonder of new life. I was fortunate to share my pregnancy with my dear friend and co-worker, Sarah*, who was also pregnant and nearly one trimester ahead of me. We shared kicks, hiccups, heartburn:) and of course the eagerness to meet our new little bundles. We had both had healthy, "textbook" pregnancies. After carrying her little girl for 37 weeks Sarah noticed a change in movements (or lack thereof) she thought that maybe the baby was just running out of room. When she shared her concern with others working in the office we all told her to leave the office and go straight to the Dr.'s. As a pregnant mother you worry so much about EVERYTHING; hair dye, paint fumes, movement, too much activity, not enough activity, and the list goes on. We all figured she could go to the Dr.'s, hear the heartbeat and have some peace of mind (after all, this was her second pregnancy and she had never had any complications). She did leave and she did go straight to the Dr.'s office, they could not, however, detect a heartbeat. Again they checked and still no heartbeat, an ultrasound was done and every mothers worst nightmare had just been confirmed, the tiny heart showed no activity, her baby had died. Sarah's husband now had the task of calling the office, family, and friends to tell them the news, we were all in shock and devasted and yet we could not even begin to imagine the pain that they were going through. After several hours of labor Sarah gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, baby Grace*, perfect in every way, born to Heaven. Handprints and footprints were made, a lock of hair was clipped, and photographs were taken, an attempt to preserve her perfection and remember it always. I remember my first visit to see Sarah after the funeral, that is when I learned she had several pictures of Grace taken by the nurses in the hospital. Sarah showed me the images of her first daughter, she was beautiful, with her round little face and the most perfect lips I've ever seen, had I not known the sad truth I would have thought it was a picture of a mother holding her infant as she slept peacefully in her arms. My heart was broken for my dear friend, I didn't know what to say or what I could do to help, what do you say to someone that had just lost something so precious? Sarah later discovered that her otherwise healthy baby girl had died as a result of the mother's body recognizing the baby as a "foreign object" and began to fight against her tiny body. I wish I could tell you this a unique story, unfortunately the tragedy of infant loss affects many families each year. "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep" is a non-profit organization of photographers, that donate their time and talents to the healing process of families facing the tragedy of infant loss. The "Today Show" ran a special about NILMDTS, which I felt was beautifully done. As an affiliated photographer it is my hope that more people can be aware of this special service that is available. The following clip is a touching story of the gift of photography for a family facing infant loss.

*the names in my story were changed to maintain the families privacy.